Most.Thizzle.Spring.Break.EVER(T.I. Voice: "Perid!")

Since I'm not gonna have a good Spring Break for the rest of my life, I figured I would share with you the thizzlest Spring Break that was ever had.


I was a Junior at SCPA. Life was stressful as fuck because I started smoking and my aunt didn't approve. In and out of trouble on some real shit. So, Spring Break approached and I get a text from Ace Boogie who asked if I would like to go to Orlando. I double took like....I double took like, for real? Thing is, I needed guap! I asked Mommy Dearest and she gave me sixty bones! I asked my aunt and uncle. My uncle was like, "You don't deserve it." And I didn't, but I wanted to go. They gave me a C-Note! So it's official!


My mom dropped me off at The Phoenix's house. The Phoenix is this singing/rapping white guy I went to X with. I swear, him and Kief Daddywilkenfuck are the blackest people with white skin I know. My mommy cried because I never left her for more than a day before. She'll be good....


(The following may be the combination of two or three days wrapped up into one)We spent the night playing Mortal Kombat:Armageddon, courtesy of Ace Boogie. It pissed me off because it was wack and there was a character on there by the name of Meat. "His name is Meat!" The evening darkened and we were joined by three ladies. One, who was some kinda Spanish something, another that I worked with for like three months before realizing it was her that night, and some other girl. Spanish Fly, is what were gonna call her, was a stuck up prissy, bitchy girl, but she was kinda cute. Phoenix had a thing for Spanish Fly, but she shot him down EVERY time. Spanish Fly pulled jack move on Phoenix's camera. She took it and went to go take pictures with some black dude(now that I think about it, it was probably that Blood dude, DJ). Shit was funny, she brought it back. I played my Wu-Tang Clan and was happy.

Whilst on our road trip, Boogie hit me with the, "Hey, Matt!" I turn around and get this(picture above). Pit stops were beastie! In Tennessee, we picked up these glow-in-the-dark condoms for souvenirs. And every bathroom we entered we wrote on the walls with a marker. "ACE TOOK A SHIT HERE", "EMPATHY SMELT IT". In Georgia we went to Sonny's and had some decent food. Outside of the eatery, Ace and I filmed the "Glondom" commercial.

We hit Florida Sunday night. Everybody went to sleep. That Monday we explored Orange Lake Resort. Chillin'! Ace had scored a Smirnoff from Phoenix's garage. We mixed it with Gatorade AM, the world's best combination. I was GOOD! We went to the arcade and walked around checking for future events. There was a dance thing that night. So that's what the plan was.

As unfly as I could be, Ace's hat and Phoenix's glasses, I was in business. The dance contest was funny as hell. They gave the boy's team wack songs, "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Barbie Girl". The girl's team got hot songs, the only one I remember is "Gimme That!". Ace lost out in the singles round to a really tall older guy who won a water bottle. That's when the teams were formed. During the final round, Ace had his team two-step in the background while he danced out front. The contest ended and these chicks were out dancing so we snatched 'em up. They built a clique on some quick shit too.

(LEFT 2 RIGHT: Dude-who-probably-got-axed-murdered, Ashanti, Me, J.R, Cherish, O, Ant, Jazmin, Ace, Christina)

We all rolled together everywhere for a week straight except for Dude-who-probably-got-axed-murdered and J.R. We were later joined by O's cousin, Pac-Man. We chilled a while and agreed to meet up the next day. This is how I woke up the next morning:

Tis fucked up how Ace treats MZA. I don't know what were doing for a while but here are some photos.

"You're so beautiful when you're unconscious."--Spiderman

(She did the same pose every picture)

We me this cat from South Carolina named Quan. He got us connected with some Mary Jane, so we kept him around. This one night Boogie and I decided to head over to Jazmin and Cherish's room. On our way towards sneaking out of the room, we overheard Big Daddy Bush getting busy with his chick. "(SLAP) Ugh!", said his girlfriend. On the way, Boogie's like, "what if something goes down?" I pull out a pocket full of success and he told me I was a good wingman, next to Skeem. We never quite made it into their room, I don't remember what happened, I think we freaked out over security or something because I remember Boogie freaking out over sprinklers in the sand. He called them "Sand Snakes".

A lot of good quotes came out of the trip. I walked into a theater and said, "What y'all being quiet for, this ain't so silent game, BIATCH!!" I went and sat down at a table with some random teenagers. I said, "What y'all sittin' around for, this ain't knights at the round table, BIATCH!!" Then when I told Phoenix I was gonna kick him in the uterus. And when Quan was like, "I'm high as giraffe pussy."

Stoned. Like Gargoyles.

For real?

I know I missed hella details, but oh well. When it was time to leave, it was like the end of an era. Knowing we'd probably never see each other again, we all spent our last nights together. O and Pac-Man said they would come to Cincy for vacation, but never did. I'll always laugh at this picture because Quan is holding up a rello.

Ace had to get me one last time in Georgia. May I add, if Phoenix's grandma was 40 some years younger.......

On the way back, Ace swears he saw Samuel L. Jackson. Only God knows. I came back to a chilly Cincinnati..........Everybody at school had a wack Spring Break, but no, not me, couldn't be me!

Oh yeah, our last night there, O, Ace, Quan and I were chillin' at Jazmin and Cherish's room. Jazmin's mom came and we dipped. Ace did his Prince of Persia thing. I remember being in the fetal position under a car......

P.E.A.C.E

Oh, yeah. Before I forget. I sucked a toe in a game of Truth Or Dare. The story has been told. Don't judge me, bastards.

Shit, I Got Time On My Hands! Damnit!

What happens when 15 year olds have TOO much time on their hands? Shit like this shit I'ma tell you about happens!

(A-ROD23rd & Me)

The year was 2005. M.T. Bag was nothing but a bunch of Sophomores. I had a friend through Ace with the same name as I, but we called him EJ. EJ had left St.X Sophomore year, so the only way I could stay in contact with him was through the cell phone.

One day I received a text from an unfamiliar number. The sender told me he was EJ and said his old number was given to his friend. So for the longest, I was led to believe this contact was EJ. I forget what happened that pissed me off, but when I found out it was A-ROD, I was uber pissed off........I don't know how I devised such a grand scheme, but I knew how I was gonna get him back.

Ace's thing back in the day was to give us the numbers to chicks he didn't like anymore. (May I mention I had ALL them heauxs on lock before I was sabotaged by some jealous young'n's) I figured I'd say the same thing. This is how you know that I had TOO MUCH time on my hands. Stuntman had just gotten is Cricket phone, new number! I had him in my plot too. I threw together a fake Myspace page, using a believable picture of a Latina. I gave A-ROD Stuntman's number and he proceeded to talk to her as if who he was talking to was a girl. He said he wanted to see what she looked like, so we pointed him towards our fake page.

I cannot wait for surprises, so me being me, I had to seal the deal, and FAST! Me and Stuntman had his sister act like she was the girl AROD was talking to all along. It was a late Saturday night, I think. It was showtime! Stuntman had the free minutes going on, so we had all night. My goal was to get him to attempt to have phone sex, I knew my homies, he would do it. I felt guilty as the conversation went on, but I came too far.

It was an early AROD, because he was scared and his voice was shaky. I smelt the blood. I signaled for Stuntman's sis to proceed with the dirty talk. I'm not sure if he did it or not, but when he said he was about to, I snatched the phone and went, "Gotcha, MUTHAFUCKA!" The other end was silent...........as silent as a Bob Saget crowd.............He wouldn't text back, or pick up the phone.

The following Monday was a tad awkward, but we were still friends. I think he learned to not fucks with me after that, his brother still hasn't learned, but good thing I have no phone!

Good times............(Sigh)

P.E.A.C.E

Interpolation: How I Laugh @ Thee

In case you're not a music head, Interpolation (pronounced: enter-poe-lay-shun) by definition is: an abrupt change of elements with (almost immediate) continuation of the first idea.

The reason I bring this up is because of two songs that are currently receiving some radio/video buzz right now.


Flo'rida--"Right Round". This is an interpolation of Dead Or Alive's "You Spin Me Round(Like A Record)". In case you have never heard the original song before, it is featured on The Wedding Singer Soundtrack.


The other song I'm addressing is Slim Thug's  "I Run" which is an interpolation of A Flock Of Seagull's "I Ran(So Far Away)".


Now, I usually never have a problem with emcees who interpolate old songs, it's essentially the same as sampling or covering a song, BUT..........my problem with interpolations is when the covering artist uses the new song as their first single. Flo'rida and Slim Thug aren't the only cats on my shit list for this act. This goes for Kanye West, Jay-Z and everybody else who has done it.


Listen to the original song in which Kanye got "Jesus Walks" from. Essentially, all he did was rap on it. He didn't change the premise of the song whatsoever. I'm not hating the record because of that, it's still a great song, however, I think it inhibits the creativity to use the same premise the song has set before you. 


Don't talk shit Em, what about your "If You Love Me" song, or "Chasing Payments"? 


I'll address that. "If You Love Me" comes from Coldplay's "Violet Hill", the chorus sampled out of that song took the meaning in a completely different direction. "Chasing Payments" comes from Adele's "Chasing Pavements". She's talking about following her destiny, we're gonna rap about chasing paychecks, that's different...........I guess not.


I do enjoy most rap interpolations though. For instance, this is a call to action by the way. Youtube or download these songs:


Nas--"U Wanna Be Me"
The Isley Brothers--"Between The Sheets"
Just listen to the intro of Nas' song, it makes me laugh....The whole song isn't an interpolation, just the lines that go: "Ooooooh, baby, baby. Keep it thug, and keep yo heat, nah, nah, nah." If you know The Isley Bros., you'd recognize this as: "Ooooh, baby, baby, we're making love, between the sheets."


Jay-Z--"Blue Magic"
En Vogue--"Hold On"
I missed out on '90s music by a decade so, I didn't know this was a rip. "Don't waste your time fighting the light. State your course and you'll understand." As opposed to Vogue's: "Don't waste your time fighting blind minded thoughts of despair." I rather enjoy both versions.


Gwen Stefani--"Rich Girl"
Fiddler On The Roof Musical--"If I Were A Rich Man"
"If I were a rich girl (a lot of na's). See I'd have all the money in the world if I were a wealthy girl." versus, "If I were a rich man, ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum, all day long I'd be a biddy biddy bum, if I were a rich man."


50 Cent--"Get It In"
Alexander O'Neil and Cherrelle--"Saturday Luv"
"I get it in, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturdaaaay." Hahaa, the original: "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday love."


After all, I guess an interpolation here and there isn't so bad, after all, the original artist did give the newer artist permission to use their song. I just don't approve half of it.


Montezuma Zanzibar Abiza OUT!


P.E.A.C.E

MZA-Boi Tells 'Em(Neruda's Early Dayz)

I know it's not possible, but I think I'm regaining brain cells, because I'm remembering a lot of tiny aspects of my life. Like, my first love jones.



The year was 1996. My mom had just become an LPN and she worked night shifts. On the grounds of being a good parent, I couldn't be left alone, so she found a babysitter. Her name was Angela Ward. She had a lot of kids, Don and Deon, who had a crush on my aunt back in the day, Parren, he wrestled and punched me every morning to wake me up (he rapped too, I guess that's why I do it), and two daughters, Eisha and Angela, who was nicknamed Shell to avoid disambiguation.



Don was a grown ass man. Deon was grown too, and I don't know where he lived, he had a retarded laugh and his girlfriend was hot. Parren was about 14-15, I guess, Eisha was about 13-14 and Shell was my age, 6, when we met.



We went to the same school, South Avondale. Mrs.Ward was a staff member there, so we always got up extra early to go to school so she could go to work. She would occasionally change in the living room while I was watching the News, I hoped for black screen so I could sneak a peak, Mr.Ward would kill me.... To this day, I never quite understood what it was she did there, but I guess bills were being paid. Wanna hear something funny? I had the same teacher Kindergarten-2nd grade, and when we moved from Kindergarten to 1st grade, there were only three first graders in the class. Me, this sweet thing named, Olivia, and a girl who couldn't read, Katie.



So, I guess things never quite kicked off in my head until 3rd grade. When classes would switch, Shell and I always sat together. Jibber-jabbering and such in class. We always had to be separated, I liked that shit. Mrs.Ward was my full time babysitter. I'd go to their crib after school to watch Gargoyles, Bobby's World and all that good shit, then I'd return in the evening to sleep there for school the next day.



It was the good life. Since Mrs.Ward's house was technically a daycare by permit, another babysitee joined the cast. Her name was Netti, or Neddi (understand my donkey adoption thing, now?) , but her nickname was Princess. I don't think she went to our school though.



So, one day, I don't know how it formulated, Shell wanted to kiss me. I can't turn down such an offer. So we did it. Then things were starting to roll. She showed me what I would later realize that I would spend the rest of my life chasing after. She requested of me to return the favor. Okay! Her mom called and the Penthouse story came to an abrupt end. Did I mention Princess was watching?



I moved from Avondale to Clifton for the 4th grade. I never quite got to say goodbye to Shell, and I sometimes think about if she thinks about me. The best thing a person can do to stay connected to another in such a world, The Internet. She's there, but clearly doesn't check it. So, the moment we've all been waiting for, who was MZA's first love interest?

Do you have a change of heart MZA-Boi? I don't know, she reminds me of Cherish now that I think of it.....Hmm......I feel the same.

That was an okay reflection...

P.E.A.C.E

Montezuma Zanzibar Abiza (Eat Your Heart Out!)

Montezuma likes to hold conversation in the third person.

Montezuma really likes his middle name.

Montezuma is aware Abiza is really spelled Ibizia.

Montezuma hasn't made a beat in a week, Montezuma grows weary of slow PC's that don't run fruity Loops 8.

Montezuma is looking forward to finishing Spooks And Spoons so he can begin work on Cin City, with beats that were to go on Original Cin.

Montezuma realizes that he is indeed a pimp, he just didn't know it.

Montezuma hates how the hair on the top of his head doesn't have waves.

Montezuma has been living the same day over and over again for the past three or four weeks.

Montezuma misses the presence of female company.

Montezuma feels like doing the Macerina.

Montezuma wants to take these guns and PUT 'EM IN YA!!!

Montezuma really wants to play Super Nintendo.

Montezuma has added another location to his itinerary, now he wants to go to Zanzibar.

Montezuma wants Facebook to add a 3-way chat system. Montezuma believes this will make cyber sex go more smoothly.

Montezuma believes if he had enough prestige, he could bang, Lacey Duvall, Lavish Styles, Ice La Foxx and Superhead at the same time.

Montezuma is about to get ghost!

BLINKY, PINKY, INKY, & CLYDE!

P.E.A.C.E

XXL Class Of 2009 Albums

Some shits on my radar from the promising XXL C/O 2009.

Charles Hamilton--This Perfect Life
Asher Roth--Asleep In The Bread Aisle
Drake--Thank Me Later
B.o.B--The Adventures of B.o.B
Kid Cudi--Man On The Moon:The Guardians

Hmmm.....I couldn't find nothing on my boy, Wale, or Mickey Factz. Blu has like three albums already and Ace Hood dropped his in 08, and I don't know jack shit about Curren$y or Corey Guns......so, there you have it!

P.E.A.C.E

Happiest being the Nappiest...

Wats good bra....and sis

167 blacks into the year, Ace Boogie is feeling depression again. I mean this depression was brought completely by myself. So i'll just rant til I feel better.

So guess what I'll be going into my Trigonometry class' Final exam with a just about a 0%. WHY?! I lean too much. Then I never want to go class. I'm suffering because of that. My schedule next quarter will be 5 classes. I think I've taken them all before. Trig (I'm sure I'm failing this quarter), History 101 (3rd time taking it), English 101 (3rd time taking it), Psych (I got a C the first time), Sociology (the only one I haven't taken yet). Don't get me wrong, I could bet money I'm the smartest M.T. Bag member, but at the same time I maybe the laziest. Correction that's Miz. 1200 on my SAT and 26 on my ACT (w/ a hangover).

Next quarter. No more lean during the weekdays. No more weekday parties (Sunday-Wednesday). No Wiid until after all my daily work is done. Organize all my work to be done daily. Get and keep a job. (RE-UPs!!!) Stack chips for future. Get my BOOKS!!! Write a verse everyday. Make 2 beats a week. Sell Rellos and Blacks. Thats about it.

At least I'll have work to keep me busy because I feel thats exactly what I need. I mean I'm the Flash. I move so fast, I need alot to do.

Pool Party tomorrow...