I was a Junior at SCPA. Life was stressful as fuck because I started smoking and my aunt didn't approve. In and out of trouble on some real shit. So, Spring Break approached and I get a text from Ace Boogie who asked if I would like to go to Orlando. I double took like....I double took like, for real? Thing is, I needed guap! I asked Mommy Dearest and she gave me sixty bones! I asked my aunt and uncle. My uncle was like, "You don't deserve it." And I didn't, but I wanted to go. They gave me a C-Note! So it's official!
My mom dropped me off at The Phoenix's house. The Phoenix is this singing/rapping white guy I went to X with. I swear, him and Kief Daddywilkenfuck are the blackest people with white skin I know. My mommy cried because I never left her for more than a day before. She'll be good....
(The following may be the combination of two or three days wrapped up into one)We spent the night playing Mortal Kombat:Armageddon, courtesy of Ace Boogie. It pissed me off because it was wack and there was a character on there by the name of Meat. "His name is Meat!" The evening darkened and we were joined by three ladies. One, who was some kinda Spanish something, another that I worked with for like three months before realizing it was her that night, and some other girl. Spanish Fly, is what were gonna call her, was a stuck up prissy, bitchy girl, but she was kinda cute. Phoenix had a thing for Spanish Fly, but she shot him down EVERY time. Spanish Fly pulled jack move on Phoenix's camera. She took it and went to go take pictures with some black dude(now that I think about it, it was probably that Blood dude, DJ). Shit was funny, she brought it back. I played my Wu-Tang Clan and was happy.
Whilst on our road trip, Boogie hit me with the, "Hey, Matt!" I turn around and get this(picture above). Pit stops were beastie! In Tennessee, we picked up these glow-in-the-dark condoms for souvenirs. And every bathroom we entered we wrote on the walls with a marker. "ACE TOOK A SHIT HERE", "EMPATHY SMELT IT". In Georgia we went to Sonny's and had some decent food. Outside of the eatery, Ace and I filmed the "Glondom" commercial.
We hit Florida Sunday night. Everybody went to sleep. That Monday we explored Orange Lake Resort. Chillin'! Ace had scored a Smirnoff from Phoenix's garage. We mixed it with Gatorade AM, the world's best combination. I was GOOD! We went to the arcade and walked around checking for future events. There was a dance thing that night. So that's what the plan was.
As unfly as I could be, Ace's hat and Phoenix's glasses, I was in business. The dance contest was funny as hell. They gave the boy's team wack songs, "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Barbie Girl". The girl's team got hot songs, the only one I remember is "Gimme That!". Ace lost out in the singles round to a really tall older guy who won a water bottle. That's when the teams were formed. During the final round, Ace had his team two-step in the background while he danced out front. The contest ended and these chicks were out dancing so we snatched 'em up. They built a clique on some quick shit too.
(LEFT 2 RIGHT: Dude-who-probably-got-axed-murdered, Ashanti, Me, J.R, Cherish, O, Ant, Jazmin, Ace, Christina)
We all rolled together everywhere for a week straight except for Dude-who-probably-got-axed-murdered and J.R. We were later joined by O's cousin, Pac-Man. We chilled a while and agreed to meet up the next day. This is how I woke up the next morning:
Tis fucked up how Ace treats MZA. I don't know what were doing for a while but here are some photos.
"You're so beautiful when you're unconscious."--Spiderman
(She did the same pose every picture)
We me this cat from South Carolina named Quan. He got us connected with some Mary Jane, so we kept him around. This one night Boogie and I decided to head over to Jazmin and Cherish's room. On our way towards sneaking out of the room, we overheard Big Daddy Bush getting busy with his chick. "(SLAP) Ugh!", said his girlfriend. On the way, Boogie's like, "what if something goes down?" I pull out a pocket full of success and he told me I was a good wingman, next to Skeem. We never quite made it into their room, I don't remember what happened, I think we freaked out over security or something because I remember Boogie freaking out over sprinklers in the sand. He called them "Sand Snakes".
A lot of good quotes came out of the trip. I walked into a theater and said, "What y'all being quiet for, this ain't so silent game, BIATCH!!" I went and sat down at a table with some random teenagers. I said, "What y'all sittin' around for, this ain't knights at the round table, BIATCH!!" Then when I told Phoenix I was gonna kick him in the uterus. And when Quan was like, "I'm high as giraffe pussy."
Stoned. Like Gargoyles.
For real?
I know I missed hella details, but oh well. When it was time to leave, it was like the end of an era. Knowing we'd probably never see each other again, we all spent our last nights together. O and Pac-Man said they would come to Cincy for vacation, but never did. I'll always laugh at this picture because Quan is holding up a rello.
Ace had to get me one last time in Georgia. May I add, if Phoenix's grandma was 40 some years younger.......
On the way back, Ace swears he saw Samuel L. Jackson. Only God knows. I came back to a chilly Cincinnati..........Everybody at school had a wack Spring Break, but no, not me, couldn't be me!
Oh yeah, our last night there, O, Ace, Quan and I were chillin' at Jazmin and Cherish's room. Jazmin's mom came and we dipped. Ace did his Prince of Persia thing. I remember being in the fetal position under a car......
P.E.A.C.E
Oh, yeah. Before I forget. I sucked a toe in a game of Truth Or Dare. The story has been told. Don't judge me, bastards.
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Spit Yo Game, Talk Yo Shit