W.E.I.R.D(What Exactly Is Reasonable, Dude?)

(Where's Waldo?)

Well...too many W's....anyway...All my life I've been called this and that. Ugly, handsome, blow pop(head bigger than body), odd, different, idiot savant, and the infamous WEIRD. I've never had a problem with me, but every person I've ever come across sees me as that different cat, the one who moves to his own rhythm.

**side note: if it was my choice, I would've never gone to elementary, high, or secondary school, placing me in the Greek definition of an "Ideot", or, a man with no knowledge and no profession.**

Back to the first paragraph, ok, I admit, I can't dance, so yes, I do move to a different drum than most. Once, most get past their initial fear of my different, they will grow to accept and love me...There have been people in my past that I have met who refused to accept me as me, probably because they felt intimidated by the qualities I possess. If there is one thing I know I'm good at it, it's befriending people. I put my life and what I'm about in everybody I meet, at least, those of who I know will be around long term. I'm a social butterfly, if I wanna be, meaning: I can hang out with whoever I choose to.

Back in art school there were 6 disciplines the school offered: Music, Technical Theatre, Dance, Visual Arts, Writing, and Acting. I was a visual arts student, I'm mean with a utensil and canvas. Here's how it went, Technical Theatre, Music and Visual Arts students were at the bottom of the social ladder, Writing was in between, and Dance and Acting produced the most popular kids. Don't get me wrong, there were cool, down-to-Earth people in V.A, but EVERYBODY knew the kids in Dance or Acting and the school was 4th-12th grade, wow.

By choice, I hung out with V.A and T.T students, why? They were cool, we used to puff doobs at lunchtime, and they invited me to my first AND only RAVE, that was nuts! Another reason, they all thought like me and they were the realest people I had ever met.

Now, it was 2006, in 1970something, the disciplines strictly hung out together, no, there were multiple cliques and such. When I was first coming to the school, I was big into Myspace, so I was Myspacing folks, telling them to get ready for my music effort and such. I was getting in big with the rappers and all the pretty girls, my only priority.

My homie, Maestro had graduated the year before my arrival, but put me onto a dude named Winston Cotton. I met up with Cotton and his clique, but from the get go, we differed in styles and we never hit it off, Stuntman, however, hit it off because of the street mentality they shared, I was never into that. Without allies in my music, I only had the pretty girls.

They were wrapped around my finger because of the smart-ass-St.Xavier-attitude I was still sporting. I've never been known to be a loud mouth, so all the other little boys outshined me anytime, anywhere, doin' stuff. Some chicks had never heard of St.X...by the second half of the year, I was shit out of luck, oh well.

A lot of my friends from that point forward either had a billion head piercings, or was just simply crazy. So, art school, I fit in, but I didn't.....

It dates back to elementary now that I think of it, I never fit in from the get-go. I was the only lefty in any of my classes from Kindergarden 'til 5th grade, they made fun of me for that. I guess my head was bigger than life back then, so they made fun of me for that. I used to be rounder back then, so they made fun of me for that. The cool thing about that, I never copped out, a lot of other kids would break down and cry, but not me, I couldn't help these things.

Shit I could control: See, Nike has always been the in-shoe to wear, I rocked Reebok Classics, my choice, why kids teased me for that, I wouldn't know. When Boss, Nautica and Fubu were the Sean John, Rocawear and Miskeen of their time, I had Wal-Mart clothes...I never gave a shit about how I dressed until I was 16, it never made sense to me. Remember when Playstation came out? I didn't have one until the Christmas after it came out, I was happy with my Super Nintendo, but they once again made fun for me being in the past. Even my music preference was on the chopping block, I grew up on Metallica, I never owned a rap album until 2002.

Damn, I was tired of being that different muthafucka by like, 2nd or 3rd grade, so, I had a plan. I noticed the most universally accepted thing in the world was a fresh pair of J's, what did I do? I asked my mom to buy me a pair of Jordan's.


I had these, if you know me, you know I never keep kicks clean, but when I had these, they were fresh 'til I couldn't fit them anymore.

So, when I got the all red and black ones, either, another more popular model came out ,or I was the only one with them, I can't remember, all I know is, the kids at school were giving me grief about wearing them. By this point, I'm like, I can't fit in ANYWHERE! No matter what I do, say, or whatever, I can't please anybody.

This is where the shell of a Matt began, I closed up for a series of years, and would only open up to a selected few friends or whenever necessary. Teachers loved me, smart and so well behaved, but the social life was a zombie.

I didn't open back up until I attended St.X, EVERYBODY was accepted at St.X. It was where I could walk up and down the halls with no worries about what people saw when they saw me. I was ME.

Nowadays at college, that weird shit is back. Ay Dios mio! If there's one thing I can never understand, it's the ghetto/hood mentality. I simply cannot connect with a lot of people like that, it kinda pisses me of like, some people aren't smart enough to understand me, others simply won't allow themselves to understand me. I can be profound, but like I have done in my rapping, I've dumbed down socially too. Yet, dumbing down wasn't the best thing to do, and me being ME me doesn't work. I sometimes feel like I'm in a rut, but I learned, you can't go left, you can't go right, in the words of Jay-Z, "Just know I chose my own fate, I drove by the fork in the road and went straight".

I'm guessing this means, you gotta go about life in a costume, do what you gotta do to get to where you wanna be. You know, master the society you live in and topple it your way. It seems society doesn't want us to be ourselves. Remember when pink was acceptable for a dude to wear for like two weeks, everyone and their mama had something to say about it. Honestly, in my opinion, pink isn't gay, I just don't wear it, unless it's a polo.

So, I guess this was just me venting some 18 year old steam. It felt good!



So....

My (dope) odd ass dressing habits will never stop. It's weird to you, fashionable to me. Fuck the haters....

This is a happier E-M-P and he bids you P.E.A.C.E