M.T. Bag in: "The Most Thizzle X-Mas Ever"

The last time we saw our heroes, they escaped the evil Maury Show where the results of West's paternity test were going to be read, but instead Mr.West blew up the set. When word of this reached Jay-Z who was in Abiza at the time, he founded B.R.A in hopes to obliterate our heroes. Jay-Z sent Andre 3000, Paul Wall and Zombie ODB to kidnap Santa Claus, this is where the story begins...

Santa: Ho,ho,ho! I see three naughty little boys have come to see, Santa!

Andre 3000: I know you ain't no pimp...

Paul Wall: This is for that time you never brought me that grill!

Zombie ODB: Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay!

Andre 3000: Let's just nab this jive turkey!

Santa: Help!

Hov: Hey, Santa, my main man, remember me?

Santa: How could I not, Shawn Carter?

Hov: Yeah, remember a few Christmases ago? I asked for my own color and what did you send me?

Santa: Why, I sent you Jay-Z Blue. What's the problem?

Hov: I wanted Jay-Z Lavender! You know I can't write, I don't even write rhymes, how I'ma write a Christmas list?

Santa: You should've asked for literacy. I know what you're getting this year, ho,ho,ho, a big lump of coal.

Hov: Send him to the dungeon of rap, where fake niggas don't make it back.

Yeezy: I wrote you a short list three years ago, all I wanted was to be on a Jay-Z album rapping.

Memphis: Yeah, and I want people to know who I am.

Beans: I wanna sell records.

Freeway: Gimme a beat!

Santa: (To Himself) Well, St.Nick, this is a dark day, huh, old chap? (Pulls out a candy cane and chokes on it)

Memphis: He ain't comin' back, is he?

Yeezy: There goes my Jay-Z song!

Beans: I'll kill a nigga at the drop of a Santa, imagine what I do for a dollar.

Freeway: Gimme a beat!

Murdock: From the North Pole, care of Mrs.Claus, yay! But, this doesn't look like a pony, it looks like a vide0.....SCORE! PORN!

Murdock: Yeah, like I said, I got this porno in the mail.

West: Let me see that (puts tape in VCR) It's Tyra Banks, you sure this isn't just an America's Next Top Model tape?

Ghrimm: Tyra Banks, porn? It's clobberin' time!

Tyra: I am Mrs.Claus! Santa killed himself in Jay-Z's reject dungeon and with Christmas coming up, I need your help to deliver these presents to children all over the world.

Murdock: Will I be delivering a pony to myself?

Tyra: You were never getting a pony!

Murdock: Then I don't wanna go...

Tyra: Well, Mr.Murdock, I'll...

So the heroes rode through the night delivering presents to all the world's Most Thizzle Boys And Girls, the moderately thizzle and even to the not so thizzle.

West: Murdock, what did Tyra say that made you change your mind?

Murdock: She said she'll let me judge on America's Next Top Model someday.

Ghrimm: Is it clobberin' time?

Murdock: Man, I don't know, you tell me though. How was it with Sarah Palin?

Ghrimm:.....Let's just focus on the mission.

Murdock: Where are we headed next by the way?

West: New Orleans.


Murdock: WEEZY!!!

Wayne: AAHHH!!!

Murdock: Merry Christmas, muthafucka!

Wayne: A, men, leev dat sheet @ da dorsteppe, Eye'm bizzy.



Ghrimm: It's clobberin' time.

West: I'ma stay here a while...

Murdock: Yeah, me too.

Ghrimm: Bring y'all asses on!



Ghrimm: Where to next?

West: To the best rapper alive's house!

Murdock: Sweet, we're about to meet Soulja Boy!



Murdock: Wash your windows for a dollar, brother?

Shaq: Listen here, figments of Shaq's imagination, you got two seconds to hop out of Shaq's ride
before Shaq starts playing Shaq's platinum album, Shaq Diesel.

M.T. BAG: OH NO!



Murdock: We did it, Mr.Claus, we did it...

Ghrimm: It's real sad what happened to him...

West: Look!



Murdock: Santa, you're alive!

Santa: Yeah, man. I trip a lot, so hard that other people trip with me. They thought I died, hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahhahahhahhhhhhhhahahahahahhahahahahaha.

(3 Minutes Later)
Santa: So anyway, I just staged all that so I could take the day off. You guys did good, you want some of what I got in this baggie,man?

M.T. Bag: Hell Yeah!

Murdock: I get my pony after all!

Merry Christmas!

The E-M-P'll Say P.E.A.C.E